Mixed Emotions!

I feel like I’m going crazy right now!  I’m mad and I don’t even know if I have the right to be… I’ll spare you the details… but the main point is that I am horrible at trying to express what I’m feeling.  This isn’t uncommon, I know, but it’s so frustrating to deal with sometimes.  There’s always a reason to hold back what needs to be said… whether it’s not wanting to get hurt, or not wanting to hurt someone else.

Everyone goes through these issues, especially when dealing with relationships… (PS... I’m learning more and more that I’m HORRIBLE when it comes to relationships!).  It takes a lot for me to open up and be honest with a person and the process it takes for me to get to that point isn’t a short one.  It usually takes a few days of thinking about what I need to say and then a conversation with a trustworthy friend (or two) to make sure my thoughts are actually logical! And even then, I still end up confusing myself! It’s pathetic, I know!  Eventually however, I get the courage and approach the situation, and always feel better about it in the end! 

So why am I mad?  I know this is weird to read because I haven’t shared the situation, but I guess I need to realize that I’m not the only one that needs other resources to organize their thoughts.  Everybody goes through tough discussions that they really just need time to think about.  I can't expect that once I shared my thoughts that the other person will be able to open up right away.  

This blog has become another way to organize my thoughts.  Just writing this in the past 10 minutes has helped me realized what needs to be said…I’m Sorry. 

And for those of you who are reading this, I’m sorry for rambling!  (But I actually feel much better! J)  Now I get to have another talk about feelings tomorrow... so I've got some more preparing to do! haha I probably sound crazyyy!! Please don't judge me! :)