The 3 Month Curse!!!

I mentioned in a previous blog that I was reading Nicholas Spark’s “The Best of Me”.  Well it was such a great book that I ended up finishing the next day!  If you are a Nicholas Spark’s fan you won’t be disappointed!  I found it to be similar to “The Notebook” but it definitely had some different twists!  If a book makes me cry, which isn’t hard because I cry at everything, then it’s definitely a good read.

                Anyways, there was an excerpt from the novel that really caught my attention!  It felt like it was describing me, or rather my relationship issues, perfectly!  To give you some background information, my friends know I have what I refer to as a “3 Month Curse”.  What I mean is that I start dating someone and things are going great!  We get along really well, I can imagine a future together, we spend a lot of time together, and everything is great!  But then comes the 3 month mark!  All of a sudden I can’t stand the person I’m dating.  For a few weeks I’m constantly annoyed at everything he says or does, I feel suffocated, and I just can’t take it!  I know it seems silly especially considering 3 months is not a long time but considering my longest relationship was only 6 months, it’s pretty long for me!  Anyways, most of my friends think I’m being ridiculous when this curse comes along and they really don’t understand how or why I feel like this.  And honestly, I wasn’t really sure why I felt this way until I read this excerpt.  So here it is… except when referring to my situtation change “marry” to “date” and “years” to “3 months”…

 [Dawson is the main male role and he is talking to his high school sweetheart] 

Dawson’s mouth felt dry.  “Then why did you marry him?”   

“Because I thought it was good enough.  And I hoped I could change.  That over time, maybe I would come to feel the same way about him as I did about you.  But I didn’t, and as the years went on, I think he came to see that, too.  And it hurt him, and I knew it hurt him, but the harder he tried to show me how important I was to him, the more suffocated I felt.  And I resented that.  I resented him.”  She winced at her own words.  “I know that makes me sound like an awful person.”

So as you can see, there was someone else in my life that I really cared about.  We got along really well and could have so much fun together but things obviously didn’t work out (although we are still good friends).  Since then, I try to find the same thing in every other guy and it’s never there!  I would joke with my friends that the person I'm dating just “likes me too much” and I know that sounds awful but sometimes I really felt suffocated.  I’m realizing now that with every new relationship I always want to jump in quickly to be at that comfort zone that I had with the first guy.  I’m also realizing that it doesn’t work that way!  I need to slow down and let that comfort zone come on its own time! To sum it up, my good friend said to me, “Once you’ve had something you like it’s hard to adjust to something different, but you have to understand it takes time to build your feelings.  It doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes a lot of awkwardness.”  And knowing me, that means a LOT of awkwardness! 

So for now, I’m determined to beat this 3 Month Curse!!!